Are you or your team feeling the weight of stress lately? Stress is showing up in big ways for some of my clients right now—especially job seekers navigating a tough market and association leaders managing constant change in the external environment.
In this newsletter, I want to go deeper than the usual tips to manage stress. I’ll share a few evidence-based strategies that I’ve found helpful to manage stress and some ideas to better support your team.
My Story
Stress isn’t just something I help others with—it’s something that affects me deeply. In complete transparency, I continue to be a student of this topic, not consistently great at applying my learning, and not an expert. In other words, I’m human. Over time, I’ve learned that dealing with stress effectively requires more than implementing a few quick tips. A deeper understanding of what creates stress has helped me address it.
Just before I was diagnosed with cancer, a friend introduced me to the work of Byron Katie. Katie’s words were comforting and reassuring to me and helped me to question my thoughts and beliefs about cancer and my treatment.
Katie’s teaching centers on the idea that much of our suffering comes not from external events themselves, but from the thoughts we attach to those events. She teaches individuals to question stressful thoughts through a structured process of inquiry, asking questions like:
- Is it true?
- Can I absolutely know it’s true?
- How do I react when I believe that thought?
- Who would I be without that thought?
Katie emphasizes that when we argue with reality, wishing things were different what they are, we suffer. Acceptance does not mean passive resignation, but rather acknowledging what is, which allows us to act from a place of clarity and peace instead of resistance and frustration.
After treatment, I participated in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—a therapeutic approach often recommended for people managing serious illnesses. ACT is based on the understanding that struggling with stressful thoughts and emotions often amplifies suffering rather than alleviating it. Central to ACT is the idea of psychological flexibility—being able to stay present, even with discomfort, and take action guided by one's values rather than by avoidance or fear. Through mindfulness practices, values clarification, and committed action, ACT helps individuals make life choices, even in the presence of challenges.
Stress-Reducing Insights
With these and other tools, I realized that stress often lies in the area between expectations (how things should be) and reality (how things are). I also found that stress occurs when trying to control something inherently out of our control, like other people’s behavior.
Sometimes, the best action is to remove the stressor rather than to apply stress management techniques. When that is impossible, questioning and shifting our thinking about the stressor is the best next step.
Beyond Tips—Effective Actions
As I said before, my personal application of these insights has been imperfect. When I can’t remove a stressor or my stressful thoughts just keep returning, stress can impact me negatively. The negative impacts of stress on physical and mental health are significant and include impaired cognitive function, decreased ability to regulate emotions, a range of physical illnesses like high blood pressure, decreased productivity, and poor sleep. Below are some of the most effective techniques to help address the physical and emotional effects:
- Mindfulness – Mindfulness is not the same as meditation. It is the practice of noticing when your mind drifts to the past (rumination) or future (anxiety) and bringing it back to the present. Practicing mindfulness is helpful in many ways, including building resilience.
- Meditation – Meditation is the practice of observing thoughts without attaching to them. It isn’t about controlling or turning off thoughts. Meditation is proven to lower cortisol levels and calm the nervous system. It can be a powerful tool for managing overwhelm.
- Movement – Exercise helps regulate stress hormones like cortisol, boosts mood, and improves sleep. I feel a clear difference when I move daily, even for just 30 minutes.
What Leaders Can Do
Leaders model their behaviors for their team, even at times when it’s challenging to do so. Here are some ways to support your team while modeling behaviors like self-awareness and compassion:
- Normalize conversations about stress – Talk about stress with your team, if you’re not already doing so. Ask how people are doing and create space for honest conversations.
- Clarify expectations – Unclear or misunderstood expectations are a top driver of stress. Create a safe space to discuss expectations—yours and theirs.
- Help people understand their sphere of influence – Talk with team members about which things are within and outside of their control.
- Foster psychological safety -- Emphasize psychological safety as a team value, and maintain a culture where it’s safe to speak up.
- Introduce the 3M’s: Mindfulness, Meditation, and Movement – These don’t require a big investment. Even 5-minute pauses, walking meetings, or app-based meditation can make a difference.
- Leverage your organization’s resources – your Employee Assistance Plan (EAP) and health insurance provider offer great tools, from webinars to mental health support.
Stress is not a sign of weakness. It’s a signal to pause and take action. That action might be removing the stressor, questioning and reframing your thoughts, or engaging in one of the 3M’s. The goal is progress, not perfection.
If you’d like to discuss further, get in touch.
